Ayashi no Ceres

I just happened upon this one and i seriously needed it, with eexception of the fact that i just can't wait to finish the good ones so i leave everything else till the last possible moment so i can see the end, but yeah i was getting sorta depressed and kinda down and i think it was because as she says in some of the very first lines of the anime, "Every day I go to school, go to class, go home, eat dinner, do my homework(this kinda/sometimes/most of the time doesn't apply to me) I do the same things every day over and over, it;s pretty boring no matter what i do it's always something i have done before its almost like i am just one peice of this world identical to everyone else(with slight very slight variations) somehow...somehow it seems like something is missing in my life..i wonder if i am really happy with the way things are( and that i know i am not)" it was exactly what i had been pondering about my "ill-temper" and exactly the same conclusion i came to then, i watched the rest of the anime (it just kept getting better and better it may aactually be my favorite) .... and after the first episode, and a few more after that i realized, normalcy (boredom) is something to be completely content with because even though you know its not near to happiness in the least, it beats the hell out of having a whole pile of shit dumped on you time and again, so this is my reaction and my semi-salvation from my ill-temper...... Seriously be happy with what you have and if there is no way of being happy with it well deal with it but don't depress over the fact that nothing is happenning because i woud much rather have nothing happen if there was a chance that it would be horribly bad.... that didn't really come out right, but (excuse me if i repeat myself...i just want to sort this out) its just i know i KNOW i know i have it real good expecially compared to other people so if i have problem with the way my life is leading then i need to make an effort and not just mope except for te fact that i have a motivation level of zero my ambitions are high i just dont hae enough in me to really want to carry them out, i know everything is well enough mow so maybe thats why so as usual the cause of my anxiety is the reason why i dont want to get out of the situation. Tihs is really fucked i guess i am too, well goodness i really need to stop swearing but i do really think that i should pull myself up especially because i realize this but you know i think that becaue when i was a child and i mostly just read action fntasy younmg adult books i never truly experienced maybe normalcy or is it just being i dont know but i never got it and i always lived through my books so when i see my life and i do inverntory, the happy... well not happy i have been happy enough, but the adventure/action/EVENT stuff never really ever happen mostly due to me but maybe its that i am a product of of my enironment we hibernate in winter and in summer we leave like cockroaches, but if we are alone we are maybe in a sense looked down upon...maybe i am in a sense full of crap and my ramblings ean nothing but the insane "deep" thinkning of a young girl, no? but back to mty ramblings maybe maybe nothing i just need to shut up and get my ducks in a row, and not whine, and not PROCRASTINATE and just be good! but i'll leave you on this note and not with any pictures becasue this is my favorite and i want you to see it for yourself!